


The End of The World As We Know It (Gary's Feeling Mostly Confused)

by fezwearingjellybananas



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Good Omens Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24292858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fezwearingjellybananas/pseuds/fezwearingjellybananas
Summary: Gary had no idea how he'd gone from going to investigate some weird weather to the actual appolcaypse starting, but John seems pretty great
Relationships: John Constantine/Gary Green
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	The End of The World As We Know It (Gary's Feeling Mostly Confused)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AgentMaryMargaretSkitz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentMaryMargaretSkitz/gifts).



> Happy Birthday agentmarymargaretskitz! It's only a short something, but here is a something for you.
> 
> Title is based off the REM song "It's The End of the World as we Know it (and I feel fine)", a fun fact, cows enjoy music during milking, it's relaxing mostly, and this article's from 2001 so maybe a little dated now, but "Everybody Hurts" by the same group was one of the top rated hits with cows (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/1408434.stm). I do only remember their name because it was in an article about cows once

And now he was breaking into an American air base with a warlock. Gary had only come to Tadfield to investigate the weather. He didn’t even believe in witches before getting there. He’s only joined the Witchfinder Army because he couldn’t find a job as a computer engineer and he’d really, really needed a job. Not that Captain Baxter paid him much. Just a shilling a week. Gary wasn’t even sure where the shillings were coming from, shillings hadn’t been used since 1971. He’d looked it up hoping maybe coin collectors might be more interested than his landlord. Maybe he could ask Mrs Xavier if she had another room. Presumably Captain Baxter paid her in shillings too.

John wasn’t at all what Gary had imagined when Captain Baxter had told him to go look for witches though. For one, he only had two nipples. Gary had seen. And the Witchfinder Army was very clear on witches having more than two. He’d had a few problems in his job interview until he’d managed to get Captain Baxter to understand he used to have two before an accident left him with only one and he couldn’t really explain it either, these sorts of things just happened to Gary.

John definitely was a witch though. For one, it was hard for Gary to continue doubting in anything existed when a man had popped up from a tunnel in the middle of the road, right after an alien had pulled him over to wish him a good day and warn him about climate change. Also, John had said so. Actually, he’d said warlock, but it probably still counted. And his ancestor had written a book full of true prophecies all leading up to the end of the world in- according to John- about half an hour. Not that John had the book, but he did have note cards with all the prophecies on.

As a Witchfinder Private Gary probably shouldn’t be helping John. But given all the warnings, John was probably right about the world ending in half an hour. And so far, they were having no luck getting the computers to shut down. And John had dropped his cards, so they were all out of order.

“But wouldn’t Agnes know you’d drop the cards?” Gary asked. “If she knew we’d, um…”

“She would,” John said. He picked up a card. “He is not what he seems. Not useful.”

“I’m not good with computers,” Gary blurted out.

“I thought you worked in I.T.”

“I tried. But every time I touch a computer it breaks.”

“Perfect. Fix this for me.”

“I’ll break it.”

John nodded and manoeuvred Gary in front of the computer. He tried pressing the escape key and the screen went black and all the power in the airbase went out. Including the alarms.

John kissed him.

“I broke it,” Gary said.

“You might have averted nuclear war,” John said. He turned to leave, and Gary rushed after him.

* * *

Gary was still confused. He’d just seen four children defeat who John said were the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse who had motorbikes instead of horses now with a stick, some tin cans, and a frisbee, Mrs Xavier and Captain Baxter had arrived and one of the girls- Astra Logue John had called her- had somehow made another woman appear out of Mrs Xavier, two people with wings who identified themselves as the Metatron and Beelzebub had shown up, and now the person who had been in Mrs Xavier and the small punk lady both had wings and Gary really had only thought this was just a place with unusual weather.

“Charlie, there are humans here.”

“I know that, Gideon. You do something.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve used one of these,” Gideon said. She picked up the flaming sword.

“Astra?” John asked. “What’s going on?”

“My father’s coming,” Astra said.

The ground was shaking and something was burning.

“Astra,” Gideon said. “You chose before.”

“I choose,” Astra said. A very ordinary looking man walked up over the hill.

“Astra Logue,” he said. “What on Earth are you doing?”

“Nothing, Dad!” Astra yelled. “Come on, quick!”

She grabbed her bike and cycled off with the other three kids, laughing.

“That girl,” he sighed. “Was she causing a bother?”

“Not at all,” Mrs Xavier said. “She’s a very special young girl, you’re very lucky.”

“Thank you. John.”

“Alex,” John said. Astra’s dad trudged off after her and her friends right as a van pulled up with a logo on the side. International Express.

“Hello,” he said.

“Rip, dear,” Mrs Xavier said.

“Mother?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“After today I doubt there’s anything I wouldn’t believe,” Rip said. “Miranda isn’t going to believe any of it. I’m here to collect three packages, a set of scales, a crown, and a flaming sword.”

Charlie nudged Gideon.

“Oh, fine,” Gideon said. She offered the sword.

“Thank you,” Rip said. “I’ll just get these back to the van. Do you have a way home?”

“I’ll be fine,” Mrs Xavier said. Rip nodded.

“Well,” Gideon said. “It seems our work here is done, Charlie.” She offered he friend her arm. There wings had disappeared again. “I was thinking the Ritz?”

“You read my mind, Angel,” Charlie said. She looped her arm through Gideon’s.

“Maybe we should introduce Nora to that young Palmer boy,” Gideon said. “They’d get on.”

“You’re just still testy we spent eleven years mentoring the wrong child.”

The two of them walked off together.

“What just happened?” Gary asked.

“I’ll explain at home,” John said. “Coming?”

“Sure.”


End file.
